Small Talk With Mister Moon
by butimbroken
Summary: Buffy/Angel. Angel wishes that he could save his best friend from herself. AU. COMPLETE.


**Guess What? I Do Not Own The Characters Or The Lyrics Either.**

**This Story's Been Changed Very Little, Just Re-edited By Our Dear Dani Suicide.**

Angel laid on his bed, staring at Buffy.

_Buffy._

Buffy, his best friend for the past five years. His best friend that he was utterly in love with. His best friend who didn't have a clue. His best friend who wouldn't care.

She was sitting by the window, staring out into the night.

Something went wrong, something must have happened to her. That's why she was there. But it wasn't going to be discussed.

_It never was._

She wasn't going to open up to him. And he wasn't going to push it.

He knew she was high. And a little drunk. But this wasn't uncommon to him to see. She'd been falling since before they met. And she was falling still.

He wanted to save her, but couldn't.

He'd try. And he would always fail.

_**On Nights Like These She Can Be Herself**_

_**She Forgets I'm There**_

_**But It's Just As Well**_

_**I Always Feel Like I'm By Myself**_

_**And She Never Will, Oh Never Will**_

When her mother died she ran from home, ran from the abuse of her step father. And she'd ended up here.

She survived being another street kid, hanging with the wrong people. She became an addict, a drunk, a shell of her former self.

It was blind luck that they had crossed paths. And a miracle she still stuck around.

She didn't trust him, she was never going to. She wouldn't open up, she wouldn't let him in. And he learned a long time to not try.

_**What Makes Her Feel The Way She Feels**_

_**Like Everything Is Nothing Real**_

_**What Makes Her See The Things She Sees**_

_**Like Everything That's Wrong With Me**_

_**I Guess I Should Stop Trying To Figure Her Out**_

_**I Should Know By Now That I'm Not Allowed**_

_**Now I Know This Is Not Allowed**_

_**If I Want To Keep Her Coming 'Round**_

Once he had a chance with her, but it wasn't the type of chance he'd wanted.

She had come over drunk and stoned out of her mind, up on God knew what. She came in crying and distraught. She'd been a complete wreck.

She had tried to sleep with him that night. She had said she wanted him to save her. But as conviencing as she was.. he knew she just wanted to forget everything for awhile. She only wanted him to make the pain go away.

He wanted her, but he couldn't have.. not like that.

He knew he wouldn't be able to stop, and the whole system that they had built their relationship on would crumble.

She would hate him more in the end. She would hate him for loving her.

The life she was living, he wouldn't willingly let her if he crossed that line. She wouldn't put up with it and she would be gone for good.

He couldn't stomach the thought.

She hadn't understood and she wasn't supposed to. She just got so angry with him, more than he had ever seen. She had a complete meltdown in front of him. And it took everything he had in him to turn her away.

_**She Hides Her Reflection With Pictures From Magazines**_

_**She Gets So Angry When I Don't See What She Sees**_

_**But If I'm Supposed To Sit And Watch Her**_

_**Tear Herself Apart**_

_**Then Maybe I Was Wrong**_

_**She Never Really Knew Me At All**_

She didn't come back. Not for months.

_Not until tonight._

He didn't know where she went that night, or where she had been since, or more so, who she went to. But he knew they gave her the saving she needed.

It ate him up inside, but it wasn't anything new.

_**Hello, Hello**_

_**Did You Find Your Self Esteem**_

_**Should I Suppose That He's Giving You What You Needed**_

_**And So It Goes**_

_**And Slowly I Begin To Breath**_

_**Hello, Hello, Hello**_

_**I'm So Sorry It Wasn't Me**_

_**I'm So Sorry It Wasn't Me**_

She turned towards him and flashed him an unannounced smile, one that didn't quite reach her eyes however, but, a smile. Then she turned back to the window, staring back up with childlike wonder at the full moon.

He knows that's as much as an understanding he'll ever get. As much forgiveness that he'll ever get.

He knows better than to ask for anything more.

_**The City Slips Away Too Soon**_

_**Tonight**__**She's Wide Awake**_

_**Making Small Talk With Mister Moon**_

_**He Listens To Everything She Says**_

_**And He Doesn't Try To Understand**_

_**He Never Expects To Be Let In**_

_**He Just Hangs On Every Word**_

_**That Comes From The Mouth**_

_**Of This Little Girl**_

Buffy did her best to keep the tears from falling, to hide what she was feeling.

She could feel Angel's eyes on her, watching her, as she turned baway.

_Like he always did._

And it sure as hell didn't help.

She stared at the window, praying someday he'd feel the same way for her that she felt for him.


End file.
